i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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