Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
