I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
