if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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