Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
