It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year