In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have