he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw