doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
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She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
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Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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