i think i have herpe
just one?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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