I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
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