The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
