I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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