Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
