school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
All I want is dick and wine.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
