and you said cock pushups were impossible
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
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