**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
