Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He passed out mid-signature
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
