Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
