one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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