you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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