I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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