one two three fourrrrnication!
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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