When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
