My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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