One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
