they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
