he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
so let's talk penis.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
