He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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