first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He shit in the fireplace
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