I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
