So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
