Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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