Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
