I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
