My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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