WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i came on her dog
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
