I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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