North Korea, Best Korea!
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
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What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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