I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
