do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
They took my balls.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
