I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
