Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
