I need help removing her.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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