If i come over, it means nothing
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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