hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
