it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i love accidental penises.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
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Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
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I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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