a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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