Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
My balls are so social today.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
