So drunk, too bad you don't want this
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
