I just threw up on my dentist
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
