Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
