Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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