just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
