I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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