I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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