But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
