she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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