I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
