this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
