Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
