I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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