that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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