You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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