I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
there is another microwave in the elevator.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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