I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
