It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
