Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
