i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
