I'm jealous of your bromance
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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