You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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